Wednesday, February 23, 2011

When I wish upon a star..

What a week! So far I've worked over 20 hours in the last two days. Which doesn't seem like that much when I say it but, to my body, it feels like a LOT. I've had such a mix of emotions this week. At the beginning of the week I got some bad (also, in a way, good) news in the mail. It had me kinda bummed but in a bittersweet way. Then, I had a great night of conversation with a friend and felt a million times better despite everything that's been going on lately. I also got a text from someone that I swore I'd keep in the past. For some reason, that I've yet to figure out, I decided to let this person back in. I've set boundaries for myself this time though.. I really hope I don't regret this.

So, I know I said I didn't put too much stock in horoscopes.. but I always think it's really interesting when they fit what's going on in my life. This is mine for today:

There's a conservative veil over your emotions, Aries. Issues from the past might arise and rub you the wrong way. You move onward and upward by nature, plowing ahead without thinking of the consequences. Today you might be a bit more sober than usual. Look at what's worked in the past in terms of keeping your fiery emotions intact. Try not to resent the past but learn from it.

Issues from the past have ABSOLUTELY rubbed me the wrong way this week. Yesterday, in particular. I got a really rude text, hateful almost. It hurt my feelings because I've been trying SO hard to be civil with this person and be a mature adult during any interactions with them. And I couldn't understand why they felt the need to be intentionally hurtful to me. Instead of sinking to their level, I politely ended the conversation and tried to put it past me. I should start doing this with anything negative in life. Face it with my head held high and smile through whatever emotions I'm feeling inside. I'm starting to think feelings aren't so bad.. but there's a time and place for them. Especially the negative ones.

During my conversation with my friend, she said something that I've heard before.. but really makes sense right now: "Maybe it's not about finding the right person. Maybe it's about being the right person.."

I'm not looking for the "right" person. I'm not looking for any person. Mainly because I'm too busy right now for myself, much less someone else. But I can honestly say that I'm learning how to "fix" myself. I've been broken and now I'm learning to be whole again. One day at a time. I guess it's a mix between growing up and realizing what I deserve.

My life is not perfect. But right now.. I am perfectly happy.


  1. 20 hours is pretty crazy. I proud that you're powering through everything. It's inspirational :)

  2. I loved our conversation Monday night :). It was such a great beginning to my week!

    I'm so very proud of you, and I'm so glad we're talking more than like, once a month now haha.

    Praying for you!