Wednesday, February 2, 2011

"Safe drinking, bitch"

I am so easily distracted. For the last 30 minutes, instead of working, I've been viewing my "See Friendship" with people on fb. It's way more entertaining than work and made me laugh. Which got me in trouble, but whatever. For the moment, I'm happy.

I laughed especially hard about one night in particular. I think this night started with me in my pajamas, almost asleep.. and resulted in:

Yes, that is a bicycle helmet.

I'm not really sure what happened that night that led to me finding and wearing this helmet.. I just (barely) remember how it ended.

At the time, a friend of mine worked at a gas station from 11 p/m to 7 a/m Aaaaand instead of just calling or texting her, drunk me wanted to go say hi in person. Somehow, I talked my friend into driving me there, at 3 a/m, while wearing a bicycle helmet. When we first got there I was SO freaked out and scared that I'd get arrested for drunk driving, even though I wasn't driving, because there were cops there. After being reassured that I wasn't gonna go to jail, I ran inside like a fool to see my friend. We talked for a few minutes then I got distracted and starting wandering around. This is when I ran into a cop, who asked, "why are you wearing a bike helmet?" To which my response was, "I'm practicing safe drinking.. BITCH" This was apparently not as funny to the cop as it was to me.. so I just laughed and walked off. How have I never been arrested for being drunk in public?

After that, I guess I realized I was hungry. Because I proceeded to buy $24 worth of gas station food. Peanut butter, cookies, beef jerky, macaroni & cheese, and cupcakes. Apparently I also tried to buy a lime and a map. The next day, I woke up and found all these things on the counter in my kitchen. With my usual "oh shit" thought.. I realized what I'd done. I then texted my friend, "I bought $20 worth of gas station food" thinking she'd make me feel better about the situation. Her response was, "I tried to stop you, but you threw beef jerky and a lime up and said, 'ring me up bitch'.." At least she stopped me from buying the lime.

This post was so pointless.

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