Saturday, February 12, 2011


I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
And you can take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all the Who's Who's and So-and-So's
That used to be the best at such and such
It wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an "Atta boy" or "Atta girl"
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world
I want to leave a legacy

(Legacy by Nichole Nordeman)

I love this song. Especially this particular part. Because this is really how I feel right now. For such a long time I based my life plan on what everyone around me happened to be doing with theirs. Now I'm just living my life for ME. I still have a million things I want to do with my life, and I have no doubt that I'll do them all, but I don't wanna just work to get there.. I wanna really live too while I'm on my way to all my goals, hopes, and dreams.

I think everyone, in some way, desires to be something great. I don't really care if I'm rich and famous, or everyone in the world knows my name. But I want to be remembered by the people close to me as someone who changed their lives for the better. I don't want to just work everyday for money and material things. I want my efforts to really go toward helping people, making life better for others. There are very few people that I've ever talked to, in great detail, about my plans for the future. One of those plans involves disabled children. More specifically a charity, or organization, dedicated to raising awareness and money for research and new technology to make their lives easier, happier, and healthier.

I was very close to someone who, after a car accident, is now paralyzed. He does everything possible to live a totally normal life and, for the most part, I think he does. Even though I spent a lot of time with him and saw who he was, as a person, instead of a person in a wheelchair.. there were moments when I was completely in awe of him. He wasn't just determined, to have a normal life and be happy, but he was a strong person. He didn't have self pity and feel bad about his situation. He took it for what it was and decided that life goes on. As someone who didn't always look at the "bright side" of things, he was an inspiration to me. At times, it was frustrating even to be around because it puts things in perspective and almost makes you feel guilty for focusing so much on your "problems". But I feel blessed to have had that influence in my life because now instead of immediately seeing the negative side to things, I focus much more on the positive, and how lucky I am to lead a happy, healthy life, regardless of anything else. I used to, and still do, admire him in so many ways. Mostly because, then, I didn't know how it felt to be a strong person. I never stopped to look at the bigger picture and realize that, yes, terrible things can happen but life will still go on. I had been through much less difficult situations before and thought to myself, "Why me? God, why can't you just help me.. this hurts and I don't wanna live anymore"

That's the thing about difficult situations. They can make you feel completely broken, helpless, and defeated. Or.. you can choose to not get discouraged. You can come to the realization that something awful has happened to you but that there is still so much more worth living for. Which is why I want to help those children. If someone could accidentally put things in perspective that way for me, imagine what intentional acts of reassurance and positivity could do for those kids. If someone, even just one person, in their lives can keep reassuring them that there is something to live for, that they can still make their dreams come true, regardless of their situations, and make them happy.. that would be my legacy.

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