Sunday, August 28, 2011

So much to say..

This should be the "I've been m.i.a for months and now I'm just bursting with happiness and joy and wanna talk ALL about it" post that I've been meaning to get to for a while now. But it's not. Those joyful, happy feelings have currently been put on hold. They've been replaced. By worry, anger, hurt, frustration.. feelings that are all too familiar. I'm trying to control my emotions, though (something I NEVER would have done before) and, even though it's REALLY hard to do, it's keeping me sane.. for the moment.

Alright.. snap back to reality. Emotional breakdown aside, things have been pretty good. Crazy, in unimaginable ways, but good. I haven't been partying lately, having crazy, single adventures, or just getting into stupid trouble with my friends. I guess I've been kinda.. detached. From everything. I've been inside this little bubble that consists of working, stressing out, trying to sleep, and working some more. This was, at first, a welcome change.. a slower pace. Now I'm starting to get anxious. I can feel this little voice inside of me screaming, "what's happened to you? WHO ARE YOU?". Little voice, I wish I knew. All I know, is that everything has changed.

I'm holding back.. a lot. If I weren't, this post would make a whole lot more sense. But for now this is all I can do. A weak attempt, I know. I guess I've just become boring now..