Sunday, February 13, 2011

"Introducing Me"

I love this song. It's silly and catchy, it makes me smile. It also reminds me of someone now.. which makes me smile even more: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qt11Lg4MJ9I

It's 4 a/m and I'm still awake (thank you, Captain Obvious). Oddly, I'm not very tired. I'm watching an old episode of The Hills. The episode where Lauren finally goes to Paris, meets a boy in a band, and rides around Paris at night on his motorcycle. In a ball gown, by the way. He drops her off in front of her hotel, blows her a kiss, winks, and then he's gone. Why can't I go to Paris, meet a hot guy, have a great night, and then say goodbye? Hello! MTV! I'm here and I'm ready for the world to watch my life unfold! Some girls just have all the luck.

I have decided that I hate mystery shows. Because the narrators always have creepy ass voices. I know bad things happen in the world. I can watch the most bloody, graphic movies over and over again. But those shows, where even the guy's voice sounds scary, I can't watch. Especially not alone, at 4 in the morning. I guess it's either infomercials or sleep. Or more blogging about the lack of craziness in my life.

I miss Vegas. I wanted to blog about it but, much like my "old life", I can't remember enough of it. I did find a message to my cousin, telling her about it:

We were just standing in the club, innocent & sweet.. minding our OWN business.. when this guy comes up to us in the club & says "you girls wanna come do shots with us in VIP?" Well, of course Heather Drunkpants does, so off we go. We end up drinking jack with a SMALL splash of coke, getting sufficiently FUCKED UP in about ten minutes. We finished the jack & then a bottle of vodka. Since the guys in RokVegas wouldn't even let us go to the bathroom alone we decided to venture our drunk asses down the casino & up the escalator to Coyote Ugly.

Making new friends at ROKVEGAS

On the way, we got distracted by cops in uniforms & HAD to get a picture with them. Then we were approached by people asking "did you guys just come from there (RokVegas)?" That is when I heard the Australian accent & fell in love before I even saw his face. 3 new friends + us went to Coyote Ugly, where we drank more.. then I proceeded to hold a pep rally in the bathroom" (in a stall by myself yelling "If you're as fucked up as me let me hear you say HELL YEAH".. people actually caught on & started yelling, "HELL YEAH!")

And new friends at Coyote Ugly

We stumbled back up the escalator to Coyote Ugly where, I think, I drank more. And finally left. I don't remember if the bar looked anything like the movie, because I don't remember anything about it except that the DJ Khaled song "All I Do Is Win" came on.. and I apparently made up a new dance that involved throwing my hands up in the air and shaking my boobs at people when he says, "Everytime I step up in the building, everybody hands go UP.. & they stay there"

More drinks at Coyote Ugly

I don't remember the cab ride TO Treasure Island (Australian aka Matt's hotel) Amanda projectile vomited into a trash can (& apparently on her own shoe) then passed out. I just remember standing at the edge of the bed, watching Amanda. I could tell by her face that she was about to be sick and didn't know what to do about it. She was sitting up, extremely straight, on the edge of the bed, with a trash can at her feet. And suddenly, without moving at all, she started to throw up. Not actually in the trash can but in the direction of the trash can. It was definitely not a funny moment, but for some reason I was so amused and remember thinking, "Aren't you even gonna TRY to make it in the can? At least lean over.."

(JUST FOR FUTURE REFERENCES.. if you even THINK you're going to be doing the walk of shame.. plan the exits out the night before) Since it wasn't our hotel, and we hadn't been there yet, we had no idea where the exits were. We had to walk THROUGH the freakin Treasure Island casino, looking for a way out, in our clothes from the night before (me with hair matted to my head like I hadn't showered in 3 days, still wearing heels) & catch a cab back to our hotel. Hungover cab rides in Vegas are horrible. We might as well have been riding a mechanical bull back to our hotel.

Safely back at our hotel: New York, New York


Eventually, we made it safely back to our hotel. Amanda decides to throw up some more (in a trash can.. right next to the door of the hotel. Luckily for her, these were tall trash cans and she didn't even have to bother leaning over). As this is happening, we're approached by a guy with an accent.. & the conversation went as follows:

Guy: What you doing?
Me: ...having a rough morning
Guy: You need to.. uhh.. call someone?
Me: No, this is our hotel, we're going to our room
Guy: I go with you
Me: Umm, no
Guy: You come to my room


We ended up just walking away and later coming to the conclusion that, based on our outfits from the night before, he probably thought we were hookers. What a proud moment. After finally making it back to our own room, Amanda throws up some more, we eat and sleep the rest of the day away. Somehow, I managed to not get sick one time in Vegas. Which makes no sense given how much I drank. Maybe Vegas has magical powers for my body/liver. Meaning only one thing.. I need to go back and SOON.

I know I'm growing up or whatever.. but I hope I don't ever get old. I hope I never forget how to be young and crazy. I hope I never stop having pep rallies in bathroom stalls. I need crazy in my life. I'm so good at it :)

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