Wednesday, March 16, 2011


It's 1:30 a.m. and I can't sleep. Actually, I couldn't sleep. So I decided to post, yet another, boring post. Except that I waited like half an hour before I finally got around to it and now I'm barely able to keep my eyes open or focus while I type. Yet, I continue to add to this pointless little waste of "cyber space". Is "cyberspace" one word, or two?

Tiger Woods is on one of these late night, comedy talk shows. He's so boring. I really don't understand how someone so poised and proper could get a wife, much less get a ton of women to cheat on her with. I guess money can't buy you personality but it CAN buy you hoes. By the way, did you guys know that the "wah wah wah" sound (most commonly used when someone gets an answer wrong or fails at something) is called "sad tuba"? Now you do. Why you would need to know that, I'm not sure. But now you do and you are welcome. I think I'm delirious.

Sometimes I have flashbacks. I call them flashbacks anyway. They're usually just really, really dumb memories of really, really stupid things I've done with my friends. This one, however, was God's way of making me re-live (in my mind) one of my top ten worst moments in high school. Since I have nothing better to talk about, you obviously have nothing better to do if you're still reading this, I will share my short story with you.

I was a cheerleader in high school. It was, in no way, as glamorous as they make it seem in the movies. Cheerleading is actually on that top ten list too.. baaaack to my story. When I was a freshman, and cheerleading was a little bit glamorous in my mind, we got to wear our uniforms to school on game days. As a freshman, I'm not even gonna lie, I felt too cool for school on those days. They could lie and say they didn't, but so did everyone else.

As a freshman, I also had a HUGE crush on a Senior. For the longest time I was pretty sure he didn't even know I existed.. for the longest time he probably DIDN'T. I don't really remember how it happened that we finally "met" officially but it did. Since he was older, we didn't really hang out with the same people outside of school but we'd have random, flirty conversations when we'd see each other in the halls. I didn't really think it was actually going anywhere.. but he was fun to look at.

Fast forward.. one day, wearing my cheerleading uniform since it was a game day, I saw him in the hall between classes. Of course, I was feeling super cute and walked right up to him. I was super confident and flirty. I even surprised myself a little. Anyway, I decided to walk away on a good note. Looking super cute, feeling super confident. That's what I did, walked away. I even did the little turn around, look back and smile move at one point. And he smiled too.. like, this really big, cheesy smile. Almost like he was about to laugh.. and then I realized he WAS laughing.

At this time, let me explain the term "bloomers". Also called "cheer panties", they're pretty much just that. Basically like underwear that you wear under your uniform (over your underwear) to keep anything from showing, I guess. They always seemed kinda pointless to me because, other than thongs, they basically did the same job as underwear. Except they had elastic that cut off your circulation halfway through the night.

Back to the laughter.. as he's laughing, he's motioning for me to come back. Well, of course I went.. all giddy and wondering what he could possibly have to say. I go bouncing back over, huge smile on my face, and he leans over and whispers, "your skirt is stuck in your bloomers". Yeah, apparently he was down with the cheer lingo. In that moment I gave a whole new meaning to the word MORTIFIED. I could have died. Yes, the bloomers (although skin tight) "covered" everything.. but this was still like the equivalent of your skirt being stuck in your undewear or toilet paper on your shoe (which happens to be one of my mini fears).

I think I avoided him for a month. Obviously he didn't seem to mind seeing a little bit of booty in between classes since he still talked to me after that. We even hung out after we'd both graduated and I'm pretty sure, in a drunk moment, I asked him about it. We laughed and that was that.

I have no idea what made me think of that but that was my flashback of the night. And now I'm even more tired. Hope you've been slightly entertained. The end, goodnight, peace out.

1 comment:

  1. "I guess money can't buy you personality but it CAN buy you hoes."