Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Birthday Smirthday

You never lied to me not once
Its not your fault that I cant trust
Its in my past, its in my path and I can't go there
Making a mess out of this game
To see it all go up in flames
So tired of being ruthless and wreckless

Time to be your only one
To almost be you're way too young
Time to crash into the sun
Time to be your 21
Time to dream that love with last
Time to drive my car too fast
Time to walk before I run
Time to be your 21
I don't believe in love and I
I pull it to the wall
I tasted sweetness there to laugh so hard as it falls
And I could push you there if you don't stop me
Push you there if you don't stop me
Please stop me
Its gut wrenching sometimes
Its life threatening sometimes
Seems like nothing can wash it all away

(Alexz Johnson - Time to be Your 21)

So, in 10 days, I'll be 22 years old. I guess you could say I'm looking forward to my birthday. In all honesty, it probably won't even feel like a birthday, I'm just ready for some cake. (Luckily, my cousin's birthday is this Friday, one week before mine. Two weeks of cake? Happy birthday to ME!)

I stand by my belief that after your 21st, birthdays just lose their appeal. I'm extremely tempted to have my 21st again.. but that probably won't happen. I'm far too boring for a 22 year old.

In the spirit of birthdays, specifically mine, this is my birthday wishlist post. Most of the things I want are things that I can, and probably will eventually, buy for myself. But let's face it, who doesn't love gifts and free stuff? Here's to wishing. (I'll keep adding more, check back if you care)

Kindle. Contrary to popular belief, not only can I, I like to read.

Season DVDs. Sadly, I'm now addicted.

Floor pillows. Not these specific ones, just really huge pillows. Just cuz.

Texts from Last Night book. For rainy days. And because I'm easily entertained.

So these are things I want. Among other things. And, of course, world peace and all that stuff.

Back to life.. 

I don't know what I'm doing. Emotionally, I mean. Other than really confusing myself. I've cut some people out. Now I'm thinking maybe I let go of someone that I shouldn't have. Because, even though I feel.. no, I KNOW this person can't possibly be good for me, I feel like I need them now. More than anything I wanna say "even though it's awful, screwed up, and makes no sense.. we're SO good together". That's not something that's easy to have with someone.. and not something I thought I'd want. Maybe I don't.. maybe I just can't let myself want that right now. I don't know what I want. Am I really about to be 22?


  1. I got a Kindle for my birthday last year. I love it! And Happy Early Birthday! :)