Friday, January 28, 2011

Rude is the new black

What whaaaaat!

So, job.. accomplished. Gotta take some stupid classes online this weekend for it, which is a pain, but I'm gonna try my hardest not to let it interfere with my drinking, err.. weekend.

I believe I am officially addicted to blogging. I'm gonna try suuuuper hard not to blog everytime a silly thought pops into my head. But in reality, all of my crazy ideas and stupid decisions start with a silly thought.. so this could be tricky.

I've gotten a lot of comments (texts, fb messages) about my blog already. It seems that people enjoy my bitchy, confusing, disaster of a life. Which is weird cuz I feel like I haven't even really gotten into the hardcore, exciting, somewhat embarrassing stuff yet. Just remember.. you asked for it.

After reading my best friend's blog.. I was reminded of a story. And while no one but us would find humor in it, I'm gonna share it anyway. Once upon a time, there was a skanky bitch. We'll call her SB. I can't really explain why I don't like her. Sometimes personalities just clash.. and sometimes skanky bitches sleep with guys you like before you liked them. That probably has more to do with it. Anyway.. after movie night at my best friend's house, walking outside to get in my car and drive home.. we see skanky bitch in the parking lot of my friend's apartment complex. Skanky bitch says hi to my friend (because skanky bitch knows who I am, but doesn't KNOW me.. and probably would know better than to say hi to me even if she did know me) and my friend pretends not to know her (I'm actually not sure if she was pretending or if she really didn't realize who she was.. but whatever) and this made SB mad. So, SB, who is carrying a tray full of Starbucks coffee, turns around to storm off.

Which would have been fine.. except skanky bitch didn't step up onto the curb. She tripped. And faceplanted into the coffee, that she was STILL holding. There were no words. I just jumped in my car as quickly as possibly because, let's face it, the laughter was coming and it wasn't gonna stop anytime soon. I guess she didn't really know what to do after that. So she left the coffee on the ground, got up and walked inside. Needless to say, I called my friend and laughed my ass off the whole way home. Because I am a bitch.. and because it was funny. It would have been funny if it had been myself that it happened to. But it wasn't.. it was skanky bitch, who I do not like.

I learned a valuable lesson that day. If you're going to angrily storm off to show your displeasure at being snubbed by someone.. faceplanting into something is not the way to get your point across. Frankly, it's kinda messy and makes you look like an idiot.


  1. i can barely breathe reliving this moment!!!! for the record, no i seriously didnt remember who she was... but then again, why would i remember a skanky bitch?

  2. I don't think I would've bothered to try to contain my laughter. She had it coming. :-)