This one is personal. I don't know if he'll see it, doesn't really matter, I just need to say it.
From the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry. I wish I could understand why things are, and always have been, this way between us. You know that I wish things were different more than anything but I've come to accept that it just "is what it is" with us. Does it hurt? Yes. Does it suck? A whole lot. I used to consider you one of my best friends. You were someone I could laugh, cry, be my completely insane self around. Why that could never translate into something more, I honestly don't know. I do know that it breaks my heart though.. to have hurt you, to have lost you, to think that things will never be the same with us again. If I know anything, it's that everything happens for a reason. What reason? That I don't understand.. but one day I will. Until then, it's probably gonna hurt and it's probably gonna suck. But I'm still gonna love you. I'm still gonna be here, be your friend. I will pray every single day for you. I will pray that you're loved, successful, happy beyond imagination. Because you deserve nothing less. I truly don't think anyone could ever understand me like you do, care about you like I do, or realize what we had. I miss you, I love you.