I laughed especially hard about one night in particular. I think this night started with me in my pajamas, almost asleep.. and resulted in:
Yes, that is a bicycle helmet.
I'm not really sure what happened that night that led to me finding and wearing this helmet.. I just (barely) remember how it ended.
At the time, a friend of mine worked at a gas station from 11 p/m to 7 a/m Aaaaand instead of just calling or texting her, drunk me wanted to go say hi in person. Somehow, I talked my friend into driving me there, at 3 a/m, while wearing a bicycle helmet. When we first got there I was SO freaked out and scared that I'd get arrested for drunk driving, even though I wasn't driving, because there were cops there. After being reassured that I wasn't gonna go to jail, I ran inside like a fool to see my friend. We talked for a few minutes then I got distracted and starting wandering around. This is when I ran into a cop, who asked, "why are you wearing a bike helmet?" To which my response was, "I'm practicing safe drinking.. BITCH" This was apparently not as funny to the cop as it was to me.. so I just laughed and walked off. How have I never been arrested for being drunk in public?
After that, I guess I realized I was hungry. Because I proceeded to buy $24 worth of gas station food. Peanut butter, cookies, beef jerky, macaroni & cheese, and cupcakes. Apparently I also tried to buy a lime and a map. The next day, I woke up and found all these things on the counter in my kitchen. With my usual "oh shit" thought.. I realized what I'd done. I then texted my friend, "I bought $20 worth of gas station food" thinking she'd make me feel better about the situation. Her response was, "I tried to stop you, but you threw beef jerky and a lime up and said, 'ring me up bitch'.." At least she stopped me from buying the lime.
This post was so pointless.
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