Once, I got in a fight with an ex. Because I didn't trust him. I lost my temper and, in my fit of anger, threw a picture frame on the ground. Of course, it broke and glass went everywhere. We went into the next room, talked, and I eventually calmed down. A few minutes later I went back into the room and started to pick up the pictures and pieces of glass. But I just started crying all over again. I told him, "I feel like this is us. It's broken. This will never be a picture frame again. We will never be "us" ever again" Sure, there were still pictures and there was still glass. But it was changed forever.
Sometimes relationships are like that. For whatever reason, they change, and they're never quite the same again. This can be good, or bad. The good usually comes as a result of one or both people growing up. And when it's bad.. it's really bad.
And sometimes people can just change on their own. I'm not sure when it happened, or why.. maybe it is just growing up, but I've changed. Today I completely broke down. And I let everything out. I was mad, sad, confused.. and it was no secret. A year ago, I would have never done that. I had feelings, sure. But they were bottled up so deep inside that by the time they finally came out, usually in a huge explosion, even I didn't know how to make sense of them. I used to think of that as a sign of weakness. Now I realize I was wrong. It's not weak to struggle, to get hurt, or to fail. It's weak to never try. It's weak to give up, to walk away when you've still got fight in you.
Sometimes things break and they can't be fixed. But I'm starting to realize that I'm not broken. Not even on my hardest days.. I might be a little cracked but I'm not broken yet. I can still be fixed, I can still keep going.
I started this blog for myself. Then it became kinda humorous and entertaining for my friends. But it really is about me and my life. How I'm constantly growing, learning, trying, and failing. Whether it's happy, sad, depressing, or just plain boring.. it's real. This is me, who I am. I am silly, moody, crazy, funny, weird. I'm struggling, but I'm still trying. I'm taking life as it comes at me, one day at a time.
It's messy, scary.. and absolutely beautiful.
Morning comes and life moves on
Mood: Peaceful
Listening to: Goo Goo Dolls - Not Broken
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gELGw_u37dg
Friday, February 4, 2011
Fill me up
I just realized that I have yet to post about my one, true love.. music. Music is the one constant in my life. The only thing that's every REALLY always been there for me. Making me cry, making me smile, making me live.
Back in the day, when MySpace was the big thing, they had MySpace blogs. At the end you could type in your mood and what music you were listening to/book you were reading. I wish this blog had that. Music can be so influential on your mood. I think I'll include it anyway :) (Lucky you, 8 followers!)
I'm addicted to this show "Teen Mom". If you're not familiar with it, it started from the show "16 and Pregant". Basically following the lives of girls in high school who are pregnant and still dealing with the everyday drama of teen life too. It's annoying, dramatic, and totally addicting. Now we're on season 2 of the orginal show "Teen Mom". The annoying part is that these girls are soooo stupid. Especially Jenelle. She parties all the time, has lost custody of her baby to her own mother, and doesn't seem to care that she's just screwing up her life. How smart is this kid? Well, here we go: "I'm not hungover. I'm tired, I have a headache, I feel like I'm gonna throw up" Hey, stupid bitch, you're hungover! I can't imagine having a kid right now, much less at 16. But I'd still do any and everything possible to be the best mom ever if I was in that situation. I don't even know this girl and I have zero respect for her.
Got my work schedule for this week coming up and it looks like things aren't slowing down anytime soon. That's okay, I can do this. Hard times? BRING IT! I'm gonna be tired, moody, busy and probably not my usual happy self for another week or so. But eventually it WILL be worth it. Eye on the prize. I'm makin things happen! :)
"Keep on going & chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I never heard of anyone ever stumbling on something while sitting down."
This post has been an all day process. To avoid numerous posts in one day I've just been typing here and there as thoughts enter my mind. I've erased a lot of them because they're mostly random thoughts and really don't entertain anyone but me. It's interesting to me (and probably only to me cuz I'm the only one who knows) how the mood has changed several times in one post depending on what time of the day it is, what I'm doing or what's just happened.
Current mood: Defeat. Or whatever mood comes right before defeat. But basically I'm borderline there so..
For whatever reason, my new bosses decided not to pay me yesterday. Instead, they'd let all the hours from this week go on the next check, making it a little more. Which is fine, except the next check is the week after next and Heather has rent due. Shit. At least I have a check from my other job, even though it's not much. I guess it's back to ramen after all..
Being a little less than pleased about my financial situation, imagine my surprise when I log into my bank account and find that I've overdrawn. Luckily, I'm overdraft protected by my mom's account. Good news, right? WRONG. I don't have to pay overdraft fees to the bank, but I now have to pay the money back to my mother. Which is almost worse. Scratch that, IS worse. I guess when she said I was "cut off" she actually meant it this time. And it doesn't make her heart warm and fuzzy to know that, not only have I overdrawn my acct, I'm getting money from her account. What really annoys me is that it's not even MY fault that I overdrew. Not directly anyway.. but bitching about it won't change anything. So, goodbye paycheck. Hello, ramen.
After a mini meltdown in the bathroom at work and a pep talk, I'm fine. Just breathe, sometimes life sucks. There are thousands, maybe millions, of people who have it SO much worse than I do. Suck it up.
On that note, I'm so glad it's finally the weekend. I've been looking forward to, and SO needed, this weekend since.. well last weekend. I'm ready for "me" time. I'm ready to turn my phone off, forget about facebook, curl up in my bed and watch movies all day. Maybe even all night too. Crazy weekend? No. Necessary for my sanity? Oh yes.
Thank you, God, for music..
Would dare you, would you dare, to believe
that you still have a reason to sing
Cuz the pain you've been feeling
can't compare to the joy that's coming
so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling
it's just the dark before the morning
Current Mood: Hopeful
Listening to: Josh Wilson - Before the Morning
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=New8i_eX3x8
Back in the day, when MySpace was the big thing, they had MySpace blogs. At the end you could type in your mood and what music you were listening to/book you were reading. I wish this blog had that. Music can be so influential on your mood. I think I'll include it anyway :) (Lucky you, 8 followers!)
I'm addicted to this show "Teen Mom". If you're not familiar with it, it started from the show "16 and Pregant". Basically following the lives of girls in high school who are pregnant and still dealing with the everyday drama of teen life too. It's annoying, dramatic, and totally addicting. Now we're on season 2 of the orginal show "Teen Mom". The annoying part is that these girls are soooo stupid. Especially Jenelle. She parties all the time, has lost custody of her baby to her own mother, and doesn't seem to care that she's just screwing up her life. How smart is this kid? Well, here we go: "I'm not hungover. I'm tired, I have a headache, I feel like I'm gonna throw up" Hey, stupid bitch, you're hungover! I can't imagine having a kid right now, much less at 16. But I'd still do any and everything possible to be the best mom ever if I was in that situation. I don't even know this girl and I have zero respect for her.
Got my work schedule for this week coming up and it looks like things aren't slowing down anytime soon. That's okay, I can do this. Hard times? BRING IT! I'm gonna be tired, moody, busy and probably not my usual happy self for another week or so. But eventually it WILL be worth it. Eye on the prize. I'm makin things happen! :)
"Keep on going & chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I never heard of anyone ever stumbling on something while sitting down."
This post has been an all day process. To avoid numerous posts in one day I've just been typing here and there as thoughts enter my mind. I've erased a lot of them because they're mostly random thoughts and really don't entertain anyone but me. It's interesting to me (and probably only to me cuz I'm the only one who knows) how the mood has changed several times in one post depending on what time of the day it is, what I'm doing or what's just happened.
Current mood: Defeat. Or whatever mood comes right before defeat. But basically I'm borderline there so..
For whatever reason, my new bosses decided not to pay me yesterday. Instead, they'd let all the hours from this week go on the next check, making it a little more. Which is fine, except the next check is the week after next and Heather has rent due. Shit. At least I have a check from my other job, even though it's not much. I guess it's back to ramen after all..
Being a little less than pleased about my financial situation, imagine my surprise when I log into my bank account and find that I've overdrawn. Luckily, I'm overdraft protected by my mom's account. Good news, right? WRONG. I don't have to pay overdraft fees to the bank, but I now have to pay the money back to my mother. Which is almost worse. Scratch that, IS worse. I guess when she said I was "cut off" she actually meant it this time. And it doesn't make her heart warm and fuzzy to know that, not only have I overdrawn my acct, I'm getting money from her account. What really annoys me is that it's not even MY fault that I overdrew. Not directly anyway.. but bitching about it won't change anything. So, goodbye paycheck. Hello, ramen.
After a mini meltdown in the bathroom at work and a pep talk, I'm fine. Just breathe, sometimes life sucks. There are thousands, maybe millions, of people who have it SO much worse than I do. Suck it up.
On that note, I'm so glad it's finally the weekend. I've been looking forward to, and SO needed, this weekend since.. well last weekend. I'm ready for "me" time. I'm ready to turn my phone off, forget about facebook, curl up in my bed and watch movies all day. Maybe even all night too. Crazy weekend? No. Necessary for my sanity? Oh yes.
Thank you, God, for music..
Would dare you, would you dare, to believe
that you still have a reason to sing
Cuz the pain you've been feeling
can't compare to the joy that's coming
so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling
it's just the dark before the morning
Current Mood: Hopeful
Listening to: Josh Wilson - Before the Morning
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=New8i_eX3x8
Thursday, February 3, 2011
The Space Between
"Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think everything's okay.. and everything's going right"
Worked 10 hours today with no break. Then came home and passed out for like 2 hours, even though I was supposed to work more. I'm officially exhausted :( and I'm supposed to be at "tee shirt tiiiime" right now but I'm not sure my body will let me move more than necessary at the current moment. So.. tired..
On a happy note, tomorrow is Friday! However, instead of that meaning "PARTY!" it's now going to mean "Pillow!" I am so looking forward to some quality time with my bed this weekend. Being boring never felt so good.
Worked 10 hours today with no break. Then came home and passed out for like 2 hours, even though I was supposed to work more. I'm officially exhausted :( and I'm supposed to be at "tee shirt tiiiime" right now but I'm not sure my body will let me move more than necessary at the current moment. So.. tired..
On a happy note, tomorrow is Friday! However, instead of that meaning "PARTY!" it's now going to mean "Pillow!" I am so looking forward to some quality time with my bed this weekend. Being boring never felt so good.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
The grass isn't always greener. Sometimes it's dead..
Had an interesting conversation with a friend today about "settling". I've kinda been interested in this guy. Now I'm starting to think I built him up a little too much. Not only do I think he's a bit of a player (which would be fine usually.. but for some reason it bothers me this time) but I also think he's just kinda weird. And not good weird. Having liquor goggles while sober, are we? I realize, though, that everyone is a little weird in their own way. I'm sure he's a great guy, just not the guy for me. In an effort to avoid awkwardness, I'll probably just avoid him and hope he can take a hint. Bitch move? Whatever.
So I found this quote today.. actually, I've heard it before but it just seemed so much more personal this time.
"I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism."
-Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
This describes me so perfectly (except maybe the falling in love fast part.. but especially "without measuring risks") it's scary. I think I like the idea of people sometimes, more than I actually like them, which causes me to make excuses for them and my feelings towards them. This is something I'm gonna have to work on as part of this new "feelings" thing I'm doing. Still weird. I got some great advice today that I'm gonna follow:
(I should probably give a little background so this makes sense.. at the time, my friend was in public and couldn't say what she really wanted to say. So, she substituted "have sex/had sex/having sex" with the words "color/colored/coloring" throughout the whole conversation. Weird, I know. That's how we roll..)
"I usually like to compare guys to shopping. If you see something in the store, and don't see yourself wearing it.. you shouldn't buy it. Cuz you're NEVER gonna wear it. If you meet a guy and don't immediately want to "color" with him, or go to the movies with him, leave him alone. Cuz you're never gonna wanna "color" with him"
Makes sense. Although I don't typically wanna "color" with someone upon meeting them.. I get where she was going with it. If you don't think you'll want something a week from now, you probably don't really want it right now either. She also compared guys to shopping in another way:
"I look at it this way.. I'm not at a store where I have to pick one guy there. I can go to Target, or Walmart, or the mall.. and look for guys there too. If I don't find what I want at one place, I can keep looking until I find what I do want"
It worries me a little that she compares everything to shopping and scares me how much sense she makes at the same time. But I guess that's what I've been doing. I've, subconsciously, been settling for things from one store.. instead of looking for what I really want somewhere else. (Although I haven't really been looking) So, I guess that's what I'm doing now. Not shopping to buy (looking to find someone) but window shopping just to figure out what I want. I wish everything was like shopping. Shopping makes so much more sense than life.
So I found this quote today.. actually, I've heard it before but it just seemed so much more personal this time.
"I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism."
-Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
This describes me so perfectly (except maybe the falling in love fast part.. but especially "without measuring risks") it's scary. I think I like the idea of people sometimes, more than I actually like them, which causes me to make excuses for them and my feelings towards them. This is something I'm gonna have to work on as part of this new "feelings" thing I'm doing. Still weird. I got some great advice today that I'm gonna follow:
(I should probably give a little background so this makes sense.. at the time, my friend was in public and couldn't say what she really wanted to say. So, she substituted "have sex/had sex/having sex" with the words "color/colored/coloring" throughout the whole conversation. Weird, I know. That's how we roll..)
"I usually like to compare guys to shopping. If you see something in the store, and don't see yourself wearing it.. you shouldn't buy it. Cuz you're NEVER gonna wear it. If you meet a guy and don't immediately want to "color" with him, or go to the movies with him, leave him alone. Cuz you're never gonna wanna "color" with him"
Makes sense. Although I don't typically wanna "color" with someone upon meeting them.. I get where she was going with it. If you don't think you'll want something a week from now, you probably don't really want it right now either. She also compared guys to shopping in another way:
"I look at it this way.. I'm not at a store where I have to pick one guy there. I can go to Target, or Walmart, or the mall.. and look for guys there too. If I don't find what I want at one place, I can keep looking until I find what I do want"
It worries me a little that she compares everything to shopping and scares me how much sense she makes at the same time. But I guess that's what I've been doing. I've, subconsciously, been settling for things from one store.. instead of looking for what I really want somewhere else. (Although I haven't really been looking) So, I guess that's what I'm doing now. Not shopping to buy (looking to find someone) but window shopping just to figure out what I want. I wish everything was like shopping. Shopping makes so much more sense than life.
"Safe drinking, bitch"
I am so easily distracted. For the last 30 minutes, instead of working, I've been viewing my "See Friendship" with people on fb. It's way more entertaining than work and made me laugh. Which got me in trouble, but whatever. For the moment, I'm happy.
I laughed especially hard about one night in particular. I think this night started with me in my pajamas, almost asleep.. and resulted in:
Yes, that is a bicycle helmet.
I'm not really sure what happened that night that led to me finding and wearing this helmet.. I just (barely) remember how it ended.
At the time, a friend of mine worked at a gas station from 11 p/m to 7 a/m Aaaaand instead of just calling or texting her, drunk me wanted to go say hi in person. Somehow, I talked my friend into driving me there, at 3 a/m, while wearing a bicycle helmet. When we first got there I was SO freaked out and scared that I'd get arrested for drunk driving, even though I wasn't driving, because there were cops there. After being reassured that I wasn't gonna go to jail, I ran inside like a fool to see my friend. We talked for a few minutes then I got distracted and starting wandering around. This is when I ran into a cop, who asked, "why are you wearing a bike helmet?" To which my response was, "I'm practicing safe drinking.. BITCH" This was apparently not as funny to the cop as it was to me.. so I just laughed and walked off. How have I never been arrested for being drunk in public?
After that, I guess I realized I was hungry. Because I proceeded to buy $24 worth of gas station food. Peanut butter, cookies, beef jerky, macaroni & cheese, and cupcakes. Apparently I also tried to buy a lime and a map. The next day, I woke up and found all these things on the counter in my kitchen. With my usual "oh shit" thought.. I realized what I'd done. I then texted my friend, "I bought $20 worth of gas station food" thinking she'd make me feel better about the situation. Her response was, "I tried to stop you, but you threw beef jerky and a lime up and said, 'ring me up bitch'.." At least she stopped me from buying the lime.
This post was so pointless.
I laughed especially hard about one night in particular. I think this night started with me in my pajamas, almost asleep.. and resulted in:
Yes, that is a bicycle helmet.
I'm not really sure what happened that night that led to me finding and wearing this helmet.. I just (barely) remember how it ended.
At the time, a friend of mine worked at a gas station from 11 p/m to 7 a/m Aaaaand instead of just calling or texting her, drunk me wanted to go say hi in person. Somehow, I talked my friend into driving me there, at 3 a/m, while wearing a bicycle helmet. When we first got there I was SO freaked out and scared that I'd get arrested for drunk driving, even though I wasn't driving, because there were cops there. After being reassured that I wasn't gonna go to jail, I ran inside like a fool to see my friend. We talked for a few minutes then I got distracted and starting wandering around. This is when I ran into a cop, who asked, "why are you wearing a bike helmet?" To which my response was, "I'm practicing safe drinking.. BITCH" This was apparently not as funny to the cop as it was to me.. so I just laughed and walked off. How have I never been arrested for being drunk in public?
After that, I guess I realized I was hungry. Because I proceeded to buy $24 worth of gas station food. Peanut butter, cookies, beef jerky, macaroni & cheese, and cupcakes. Apparently I also tried to buy a lime and a map. The next day, I woke up and found all these things on the counter in my kitchen. With my usual "oh shit" thought.. I realized what I'd done. I then texted my friend, "I bought $20 worth of gas station food" thinking she'd make me feel better about the situation. Her response was, "I tried to stop you, but you threw beef jerky and a lime up and said, 'ring me up bitch'.." At least she stopped me from buying the lime.
This post was so pointless.
Can I get a break, with extra happy on the side?
Be happy. Be happy. Be happy. Forcing myself to be happy is proving to be harder than I planned. Luckily, my exhaustion has pushed me into a state of numbness and I'm not happy or sad. Just blah. There are much worse places to be.
It doesn't help my mood that I thought I was saving money. But I've had to pay for classes and things for work. After rent and bills, I'm sure my bank account is coming out to about.. $3. Sweet. Thankfully I get paid tomorrow and Friday. No more ramen noodles for a while! :)
I wish it wasn't gross outside. I love the rain when I'm trying to sleep, or can just lay around like a bum all day. When I'm trying to function and have a productive day, not so much. The rain also makes the plants in front of my apartment smell like wet dog. It's pretty disgusting.
I am now at job #2, pigging out on Mexican food, thinking of happy stories to post about later. Happy Wednesday :)
It doesn't help my mood that I thought I was saving money. But I've had to pay for classes and things for work. After rent and bills, I'm sure my bank account is coming out to about.. $3. Sweet. Thankfully I get paid tomorrow and Friday. No more ramen noodles for a while! :)
I wish it wasn't gross outside. I love the rain when I'm trying to sleep, or can just lay around like a bum all day. When I'm trying to function and have a productive day, not so much. The rain also makes the plants in front of my apartment smell like wet dog. It's pretty disgusting.
I am now at job #2, pigging out on Mexican food, thinking of happy stories to post about later. Happy Wednesday :)
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
If you're happy and you know it..
I have made a decision. To.. be.. happy. Regardless of all the negative things/people around me. Even if I'm having a terrible day. The hardest part of being happy is deciding to do it. So, I'm happy. Now I just repeat the following to myself throughout the day: "If you're mad, shut the hell up. If you're annoyed, leave whatever (usually whoever) is annoying you alone. If you're tired, it's your own fault.. shut the hell up. If you're hungry, eat. If you're sad, definitely shut the hell up." I'm bullying myself into being happy. We'll see how long it takes for the inevitable nervous breakdown to happen..
Speaking of happy.. I got an interesting phone call today. Definitely unexpected, as well as the feelings it brought on. Yes, I said it, feelings. Apparently I'm having those now? Weird thing is.. they're not so bad :) Although I'm still extremely tired (shut the hell up) and still, just a tiny bit, feeling that "head barely above water" feeling.. my week has turned around. Funny how it really is all about the small things sometimes.
I think my better mood also has something to do with the lack of guy drama in my life. I kept expecting that things with "Dear Stupid" would get messy and eventually just be a total disaster. But, as it turns out, ignoring people and their feelings is a lot easier than it seems. Bad karma for me? Or his karma finally catching up to him? As little as I care about him, I actually would like to know what's going on in his mind and what he thinks is going on here. He's either very indifferent, like me, or just REALLY stupid. I'm going with the latter. This is how our last conversation went:
Stupid: "What are you doing?"
H: "Studying, about to go to bed"
Stupid: "Come see me"
H: "Can't. Studying."
Stupid: "Can I come see you?"
H: "I'm busy.."
Stupid: "Later?"
H: "You can come over here and sleep.. but let's not talk"
Appaaaarently that's mean? I prefer to think of it as honest. Seriously, man up. It's okay to miss someone, like someone, want to spend time with someone. It is NOT okay to not be able to take a hint and realize when someone doesn't miss you, like you, want to spend time with you back. Silly boys.
I'm pretty sure that 97% of the guys I know think I hate all males. The other 3% are either gay or don't care. That's not really the case. Emphasis on the really. I don't "hate" anyone. I just really dislike idiots and most guys I've met are, in fact, idiots. Sometimes they're funny and I don't mind hilarious stupidity. Mostly they're just clingy and emotional. Which is fine if you're the girl that needs a guy around 24/7. I don't. If I'm with someone, it's because I WANT to be with that person not because I need to be. So, no, I do not hate all guys. I'm annoyed with the stupid ones and I like the ones who treat me like a human being, not a brainless, piece of ass. And apparently I date the ones who are crazy. Glad I got that cleared up.
Tomorrow is gonna be a good day :)
Speaking of happy.. I got an interesting phone call today. Definitely unexpected, as well as the feelings it brought on. Yes, I said it, feelings. Apparently I'm having those now? Weird thing is.. they're not so bad :) Although I'm still extremely tired (shut the hell up) and still, just a tiny bit, feeling that "head barely above water" feeling.. my week has turned around. Funny how it really is all about the small things sometimes.
I think my better mood also has something to do with the lack of guy drama in my life. I kept expecting that things with "Dear Stupid" would get messy and eventually just be a total disaster. But, as it turns out, ignoring people and their feelings is a lot easier than it seems. Bad karma for me? Or his karma finally catching up to him? As little as I care about him, I actually would like to know what's going on in his mind and what he thinks is going on here. He's either very indifferent, like me, or just REALLY stupid. I'm going with the latter. This is how our last conversation went:
Stupid: "What are you doing?"
H: "Studying, about to go to bed"
Stupid: "Come see me"
H: "Can't. Studying."
Stupid: "Can I come see you?"
H: "I'm busy.."
Stupid: "Later?"
H: "You can come over here and sleep.. but let's not talk"
Appaaaarently that's mean? I prefer to think of it as honest. Seriously, man up. It's okay to miss someone, like someone, want to spend time with someone. It is NOT okay to not be able to take a hint and realize when someone doesn't miss you, like you, want to spend time with you back. Silly boys.
I'm pretty sure that 97% of the guys I know think I hate all males. The other 3% are either gay or don't care. That's not really the case. Emphasis on the really. I don't "hate" anyone. I just really dislike idiots and most guys I've met are, in fact, idiots. Sometimes they're funny and I don't mind hilarious stupidity. Mostly they're just clingy and emotional. Which is fine if you're the girl that needs a guy around 24/7. I don't. If I'm with someone, it's because I WANT to be with that person not because I need to be. So, no, I do not hate all guys. I'm annoyed with the stupid ones and I like the ones who treat me like a human being, not a brainless, piece of ass. And apparently I date the ones who are crazy. Glad I got that cleared up.
Tomorrow is gonna be a good day :)
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