I have made a decision. I've decided what my favorite thing about living by myself is. Thanks to the rainy weather.. my favorite thing about living on my own is.. drumroll.. making hot chocolate and baking cookies in my underwear. Well, while wearing my underwear. I can pretty much do ANYTHING in my underwear since there's no one else here! Yes, I've lived on my own for a while and am just figuring that out. I'm pretty excited about it!
So, next weekend is going to be EPIC. Epic in the super awesome, make everybody who misses out jealous, kinda way. Not the overrated way. There's a possibilty for drama but I'm not even worried about it. We (I'm not sure exactly who "we" is yet) are going to Jacksonville for the Supercross races. I was never really into motorcycles, or motorcycles racing, before. But the first time I went to a race, it was so awesome that I've been slowly getting more and more into it. It should be a pretty good weekend in general just because of the people who are planning on going. I'm ready for a drama free weekend away from home.
Today I overslept for work by about.. 5 hours. I hate oversleeping! One, because then you have to rush to get ready and always end up going in looking a mess. Two, because you miss hours. I NEED hours! I'm not gonna lie though, that sleep felt pretty good too.
I'm really looking forward to tonight too. I feel like things have slowly been turning around and settling down a little. At least I hope so. I can't take a nervous breakdown at the current moment, I'd have to pencil it in somewhere between work and looking for my mind which I've lost. Anyway, tonight should be great, the weekend has the potential for greatness, and tomorrow's Friday. So, what could possibly go wrong? (Cue the dun dun dun sound effects.. just kidding! :) Positive outcomes only!)
So, the moral of this story is.. don't get hopped up on cookies and hot chocolate then oversleep for work. Because you will have an awesome weekend! Yeah.. I'm gonna keep looking for my mind..
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
My "Eat, Pray, Love" post.. but not really
I was supposed to take a break from blogging for 5 days. I failed. I only lasted 3. I learned something though. I thought taking a break from blogging would be like a mini "healing" process for me. In the last 3 days, though, I've just been adding onto the same post. Apparently blogging IS the healing process for me. It just feels better to get everything out, to see the words on the page, even if no one else can read them yet.
In the last 3 days, I've been really pushing myself to set some goals. I've kinda just been replaying the last month or two and figuring out what I wanted to be different about them, then going from there. Goals based on lessons learned, seemed like a good idea at the time. Anyway, here's what I've come up with:
So, those are the goals I've set for myself in the last 3 days. I plan on adding more, but starting small makes me feel like I'll actually do them. I'm really excited :) The rest of this post is basically "mini posts" from the last time I blogged. I know it's only been 3 days but it's been really good for me. I really thought, in great detail, about some of the things I wanna do. The great thing about these goals is that they're short term and they're all attainable. I feel good about this.
Oh, it's what you do to me (Day 1)
I hate those feelings that you keep inside, trying to deny, because when you say them out loud, or write them, they become so real. And then you can't hide from yourself anymore.
I guess I'm hiding from those feelings right now. I'm struggling with the whole "waiting" thing. I can tell myself everyday that this time is for me but deep down, I feel like I'm always waiting for someone to come along that's gonna fix everything. I know that's wrong. No one is going to be my cure. I need to do it myself, but does it have to be so hard?
My memory is also tormenting me. I keep having these random flashbacks of times when I was so happy with someone. And even though I don't want to be with that person anymore, I keep wondering what could change that happiness? Or was it even real happiness in the first place? Maybe not. If not, I definitely don't want that again. The heart can play such dirty tricks on the mind sometimes. Or is it the other way around?
I guess, regardless of how hard it is, I'm gonna keep "fixing" myself til I'm all better. Because, somehow, I feel that settling would only break me down more. Just keep moving forward.. move, move, move..
Dead and gone (Day 2)
Today I had lunch with an old friend. It was so nice to catch up, to see someone from the past. It was even nicer to be able to hang out with a guy and not be worried about expectations or intentions. I love that there are people in my life that things will never change with. Those people that, not matter how much times goes by between conversations or seeing each other, you can always pick up right where you left off.
Anyway, this is my song of the day:
Dead and Gone - TI & Justin Timberlake (yum!)
If I was one of those people that got huge areas of my body tattooed, I'd probably get this somewhere. I love this part of the song, it's real.
I turn my head to the East
I don't see nobody by my side
I turn my head to the West
Still nobody in sight
So I turn my head to the North
Swallow that pill that they call pride
That old me is dead and gone
But that new me will be alright
So, it's back to work today. I'm not even a little excited about that. I am, however, still super excited about my goals. I needed something to focus on and I think this will be great! :)
Indifference(Day 3)
I'm totally having one of those "Really?! Like, freakin REALLY?! You have GOT to be kidding me!" kinda days. I'm so disappointed right now. I guess that's what happens when you have faith in, and try to see the best in, people. What a waste of time. Oh well, it happens. Moving on..
Today's horoscope: Unexpected "in-law" or family problems seem to keep cropping up lately. You just don't see eye to eye with your own parents, or the parents of your significant other. There are ways to find workable compromises that can bring people back together.
To the "in-law"/other family problems, all I have to say is, Ha.. Haha.. HAHAHA. The rest of it, holy potato! So true. Since my dad has been outta town a lot lately, I decided to invite my mom to stay the night with me so she wouldn't have to be home alone. EPIC FAIL. I love my mom, I really do. But geeeeeez does that woman know how to push my buttons!! Everything I do, from the way I drive to the way I wash dishes, seemed to be cause for complaint. I haven't bickered that much about pointless (no other word for it but..) BULLSHIT since my last relationship. I mean, seriously, she drives me nuts! I guess that's what parents do though. I should just feel lucky to have parents that are still around to annoy me, which I do. I'll survive.
Fallout (Day 3, Part 2)
There are no words. Sometimes things happen that make you really think about what's important in life, what matters most. That's happened. It actually happened 2 days ago and, as hard as I've tried to put on a brave face and pretend nothing's changed, I feel like everything is falling apart. It didn't really hit me then but it's hitting me now. I can't even begin to describe how I feel. I guess shock would be a good place to start.. but even that doesn't feel fitting. I guess that's why there's usually a negative feeling about "the unexpected", right? Because you usually don't expect the bad things that happen. Life's little curveballs. I just keep reminding myself to breathe and focusing on my goals. Everything happens for a reason.
This, luckily for you, is the end. I hope you've been as entertained by the last 3 days of my life as I have :)
In the last 3 days, I've been really pushing myself to set some goals. I've kinda just been replaying the last month or two and figuring out what I wanted to be different about them, then going from there. Goals based on lessons learned, seemed like a good idea at the time. Anyway, here's what I've come up with:
Goal 1: Give. I've really been thinking about volunteering. Lately, I haven't had the time to do anything other than work. Now that I have a little more time, volunteering has moved back up on my list. I believe that God has a hand in every aspect of my day to day life and sometimes I start to see little "signs" that only reassure me of that.
It's interesting how this whole thing started. I've recently been trying to push myself to be more health conscious. I was watching a talk show and the guest was the author of a book about making healthy choices when eating at restaurants. So, I'm assuming to see if the audience knew what choices to make, they set up "this" or "that" options for the audience to vote on and see which was the more health conscious choice. There were about 15 or 20 plates of food used for this process and all I could think was, "look how much food they wasted just to test people on making smart food choices. How about not wasting food as a smart choice?"
After the show, I started cleaning house for my mom. Since my dad has been working out of town, she's spent the last few weekends away with him. While cleaning out the refrigerator, I was annoyed with how much food I was throwing away. I kept thinking, "if you know you're not going to be here to eat the food, or eat the food at all, why would you buy it?"
Later that night, I was flipping through a magazine and saw an ad for "No Kid Hungry". Of course, I googled it to see what it was all about and immediately wanted to be involved. As it turns out, you can get involved very easily in your own community. So, that's where I plan to start giving. Apparently, you can host an event called "The Great American Bake Sale", which is exactly what it sounds like (a bake sale), and the proceeds go to No Kid Hungry. I'm really excited about it and planning to talk to some friends this week to get them involved too!
It didn't even hit me until 4 hours later how ironic it was that I had such concerns about wasting food and ended up wanting to be involved with this particular organization.
Goal 2: "Operation: Let It Go"
Regret weighs so heavy on the heart. I don't need that dead weight anymore. My solution? Let. It. Go.
A long time ago, I wanted to have a bonfire. The point of this bonfire was for me, and all of my friends who wanted to participate, to gather up all the pictures, letters, memories from ex-boy/girlfriends and burn them. Not really in an angry way or anything. More to be symbolic of letting go and moving on from the past. Say your peace, burn the shit, and be done with it. It's obviously getting a little warm outside for a bonfire now, but I still like the idea. I might find some alternative or end up throwing a "burn party" on one of the last cold nights we're supposed to have.
Goal 3: Be a loser! In the weight loss sense, of course. It is my mission for the months of March and April to be more health conscious. Not only to eat better and lose weight, but to understand more about the food I'm eating and the benefits of those foods. I'm planning on trying out the recent diet fads and finally getting around to testing everything on my "superfoods" list. Last time I did this, I discovered my love of carrot juice. I also learned how to make my own healthy smoothies, that were equally yummy. I'm pretty excited about this goal.
Goal 4: Learn something new. 2 years ago, I got a sewing machine for my birthday. When I was a little girl, my great grandma tried to teach me to sew and crochet. Back then I didn't have the patience for it. Now that's she passed on, I not only wish I had been more patient for the opportunity to share more moments like that with her, but also to have that skill. I always thought it would be pretty cool to buy plain, or even ugly, pieces of clothing from thrift stores and make them into something new and unique. The buying crap from thrift stores part I've got down. The sewing part, not so much. As part of this goal, I'm giving myself a deadline. I would like to not only learn to sew (and sew good) but also have completed my very own, original outfit by May. I see this being, by far, the funniest goal I have to accomplish. I have no patience whatsoever at learning new skills. The whole cutting back on cursing thing will definitely be exercised during this process.
Goal 5: Blind travel. I can't really think of any other way to describe it than that. This will probably be the last goal I accomplish since I'd like time to save a little money for it. I haven't decided how to go about it yet. I thought about writing random places on paper and drawing from a hat. Or maybe just clicking some random spot on my GPS map. I'm not really sure.. basically I'm gonna get in my car and drive, to a totally random place. No plans, no itinerary, no expectations. I'm just gonna get in the car, drive, and spend an entire day (or maybe 2) exploring somewhere new, something new. I think figuring out how to accomplish this will be more work than actually doing it. Tips would be greatly appreciated for this goal :)
So, those are the goals I've set for myself in the last 3 days. I plan on adding more, but starting small makes me feel like I'll actually do them. I'm really excited :) The rest of this post is basically "mini posts" from the last time I blogged. I know it's only been 3 days but it's been really good for me. I really thought, in great detail, about some of the things I wanna do. The great thing about these goals is that they're short term and they're all attainable. I feel good about this.
Oh, it's what you do to me (Day 1)
I hate those feelings that you keep inside, trying to deny, because when you say them out loud, or write them, they become so real. And then you can't hide from yourself anymore.
I guess I'm hiding from those feelings right now. I'm struggling with the whole "waiting" thing. I can tell myself everyday that this time is for me but deep down, I feel like I'm always waiting for someone to come along that's gonna fix everything. I know that's wrong. No one is going to be my cure. I need to do it myself, but does it have to be so hard?
My memory is also tormenting me. I keep having these random flashbacks of times when I was so happy with someone. And even though I don't want to be with that person anymore, I keep wondering what could change that happiness? Or was it even real happiness in the first place? Maybe not. If not, I definitely don't want that again. The heart can play such dirty tricks on the mind sometimes. Or is it the other way around?
I guess, regardless of how hard it is, I'm gonna keep "fixing" myself til I'm all better. Because, somehow, I feel that settling would only break me down more. Just keep moving forward.. move, move, move..
Dead and gone (Day 2)
Today I had lunch with an old friend. It was so nice to catch up, to see someone from the past. It was even nicer to be able to hang out with a guy and not be worried about expectations or intentions. I love that there are people in my life that things will never change with. Those people that, not matter how much times goes by between conversations or seeing each other, you can always pick up right where you left off.
Anyway, this is my song of the day:
Dead and Gone - TI & Justin Timberlake (yum!)
If I was one of those people that got huge areas of my body tattooed, I'd probably get this somewhere. I love this part of the song, it's real.
I turn my head to the East
I don't see nobody by my side
I turn my head to the West
Still nobody in sight
So I turn my head to the North
Swallow that pill that they call pride
That old me is dead and gone
But that new me will be alright
So, it's back to work today. I'm not even a little excited about that. I am, however, still super excited about my goals. I needed something to focus on and I think this will be great! :)
Indifference(Day 3)
I'm totally having one of those "Really?! Like, freakin REALLY?! You have GOT to be kidding me!" kinda days. I'm so disappointed right now. I guess that's what happens when you have faith in, and try to see the best in, people. What a waste of time. Oh well, it happens. Moving on..
Today's horoscope: Unexpected "in-law" or family problems seem to keep cropping up lately. You just don't see eye to eye with your own parents, or the parents of your significant other. There are ways to find workable compromises that can bring people back together.
To the "in-law"/other family problems, all I have to say is, Ha.. Haha.. HAHAHA. The rest of it, holy potato! So true. Since my dad has been outta town a lot lately, I decided to invite my mom to stay the night with me so she wouldn't have to be home alone. EPIC FAIL. I love my mom, I really do. But geeeeeez does that woman know how to push my buttons!! Everything I do, from the way I drive to the way I wash dishes, seemed to be cause for complaint. I haven't bickered that much about pointless (no other word for it but..) BULLSHIT since my last relationship. I mean, seriously, she drives me nuts! I guess that's what parents do though. I should just feel lucky to have parents that are still around to annoy me, which I do. I'll survive.
Fallout (Day 3, Part 2)
There are no words. Sometimes things happen that make you really think about what's important in life, what matters most. That's happened. It actually happened 2 days ago and, as hard as I've tried to put on a brave face and pretend nothing's changed, I feel like everything is falling apart. It didn't really hit me then but it's hitting me now. I can't even begin to describe how I feel. I guess shock would be a good place to start.. but even that doesn't feel fitting. I guess that's why there's usually a negative feeling about "the unexpected", right? Because you usually don't expect the bad things that happen. Life's little curveballs. I just keep reminding myself to breathe and focusing on my goals. Everything happens for a reason.
This, luckily for you, is the end. I hope you've been as entertained by the last 3 days of my life as I have :)
Monday, March 7, 2011
"Check your coats and feelings at the door"
Oh Monday.. I was so unprepared for you!
I have had another one of my self realizations. Lately I've been trying so hard to push any negativity aside and see the positive in everything. I've been doing pretty good, better at some times than others, but I would like to be doing pretty great with it. After scrolling through my facebook newsfeed this morning, I realized something.. it's REALLY hard to be positive when you're friends with a bunch of VERY negative people. I kept thinking I needed a break from this town but, let's face it, I need a break from everyone's bad energy.
The last few weeks. I've been getting together with a friend and going for a 4 mile (or so) walk/run. We talk about life, about the past, we laugh and we just enjoy ourselves. Every single time, I go home feeling like a weight has been lifted off of my life. And I think about things. I mean REALLY think about my life, my choices, where I'm at, and what I want. Then, I hang out with friends and waste time and money, and go home feeling empty, like something is missing. I can't help but think maybe it's not about what I'm doing, is about who I'm surrounding myself with. It's almost impossible to be unhappy when you're surrounded by happy people, right?
So this is my little experiment: figure out who makes you happy, figure out what makes you happy, do that and say goodbye to everything else. This year was supposed to be all about a new start for me. Even though it's taken a little longer than I wanted, I'm finally getting there. Whatever happens, I know I'm only gonna be better for it. Because, from here on out, I'm choosing to see only the good in every situation.
In the spirit of spring break, I'm also taking a break from blogging. For 5 days. In this 5 days, I'm (hopefully) going to keep a journal and my next post will be a mashup of everything that happened. I hope something super enlightening happens in those 5 days. Positive outcomes only!
PS: If you scroll down to the bottom of this page, there's a picture you can click on that will take you to the website No Kid Hungry. Please take the pledge to help end child hunger! You can also share the link on Twitter and Facebook by clicking here! Thanks :)
I have had another one of my self realizations. Lately I've been trying so hard to push any negativity aside and see the positive in everything. I've been doing pretty good, better at some times than others, but I would like to be doing pretty great with it. After scrolling through my facebook newsfeed this morning, I realized something.. it's REALLY hard to be positive when you're friends with a bunch of VERY negative people. I kept thinking I needed a break from this town but, let's face it, I need a break from everyone's bad energy.
The last few weeks. I've been getting together with a friend and going for a 4 mile (or so) walk/run. We talk about life, about the past, we laugh and we just enjoy ourselves. Every single time, I go home feeling like a weight has been lifted off of my life. And I think about things. I mean REALLY think about my life, my choices, where I'm at, and what I want. Then, I hang out with friends and waste time and money, and go home feeling empty, like something is missing. I can't help but think maybe it's not about what I'm doing, is about who I'm surrounding myself with. It's almost impossible to be unhappy when you're surrounded by happy people, right?
So this is my little experiment: figure out who makes you happy, figure out what makes you happy, do that and say goodbye to everything else. This year was supposed to be all about a new start for me. Even though it's taken a little longer than I wanted, I'm finally getting there. Whatever happens, I know I'm only gonna be better for it. Because, from here on out, I'm choosing to see only the good in every situation.
In the spirit of spring break, I'm also taking a break from blogging. For 5 days. In this 5 days, I'm (hopefully) going to keep a journal and my next post will be a mashup of everything that happened. I hope something super enlightening happens in those 5 days. Positive outcomes only!
PS: If you scroll down to the bottom of this page, there's a picture you can click on that will take you to the website No Kid Hungry. Please take the pledge to help end child hunger! You can also share the link on Twitter and Facebook by clicking here! Thanks :)
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Just jump
After reading my last post again, I'm totally lost. I guess I've hit a bit of an emotional roadblock lately. I can't say that I'm surprised, with everything else that's been going on. I keep telling myself, "this time is not about anyone else, it's about you, stop looking for someone to focus on".. I'm starting to think I need to tattoo that on my forehead. Some things are easier said than done I guess.
I had a pretty good day. I didn't sleep very well last night though, since I'm still sick, and my cousin decided to randomly stop by bright and early. After dragging me out of bed, we went to the movied, then did some shopping. I bought a plant, a cute flowerpot, and this ceramic bird. I'm not sure why, since I have nowhere to put them other than next to my front door, but it looks pretty cute.
My mind is on a completely different planet right now. This weekend was the total opposite of what I thought it would be. I feel so stressed.. aren't weekend supposed to be a time to relieve stress from the week? I'm seriously debating just working crazy overtime this week and disappearing somewhere for a few days next week.
I heard this earlier and it seems so fitting for how I feel right now:
"There will always be riptides in life but you can't let that stop you from getting back in the water"
You know what? Stuff happens. Fall down, stand up, brush the bad off and keep on moving. I'm in such a weird place right now and I DON'T LIKE IT. So, this is me moving on. Heeeere we go..
I had a pretty good day. I didn't sleep very well last night though, since I'm still sick, and my cousin decided to randomly stop by bright and early. After dragging me out of bed, we went to the movied, then did some shopping. I bought a plant, a cute flowerpot, and this ceramic bird. I'm not sure why, since I have nowhere to put them other than next to my front door, but it looks pretty cute.
My mind is on a completely different planet right now. This weekend was the total opposite of what I thought it would be. I feel so stressed.. aren't weekend supposed to be a time to relieve stress from the week? I'm seriously debating just working crazy overtime this week and disappearing somewhere for a few days next week.
I heard this earlier and it seems so fitting for how I feel right now:
"There will always be riptides in life but you can't let that stop you from getting back in the water"
You know what? Stuff happens. Fall down, stand up, brush the bad off and keep on moving. I'm in such a weird place right now and I DON'T LIKE IT. So, this is me moving on. Heeeere we go..
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Devil's Advocate
WARNING: This post contains confusing, stupid material and may not be suitable for readers with a short attention span.
First, I'll start with an explanation of the title of this post:
A devil's advocate is someone who, given a certain argument, takes a position he or she does not necessarily agree with, just for the sake of argument. In taking such position, the individual taking on the devil's advocate role seeks to engage others in an argumentative discussion process. The purpose of such process is typically to test the quality of the original argument and identify weaknesses in its structure, and to use such information to either improve or abandon the original, opposing position. It can also refer (less commonly) to someone who takes a stance that is seen as unpopular or unconventional, but is actually another way of arguing a more conventional stance.
Now that you know, in case you didn't already know, what a devil's advocate is I can get to my point. I am playing devil's advocate.. with myself. How is that possible, you ask? Because I am an idiot.
(At this point, I should probably explain that this post originally started on Friday, got interrupted during work, and then my computer decided to be stupid and not let me finish it. So, it is now 6:58 a.m. on Saturday morning and I'm finally getting around to finishing it on my phone. Oh yeah, the stupid warning still applies.)
Lately, I've been in this weird "go with your gut" mood. If you feel something, just act on it, see what happens, right? No! Stupid, stupid, stupid. That doesn't apply in every situation. Somewhere, deep down, I KNEW that I was gonna regret my actions. Yet, I did it anyway. For what? Because I am apparently, for lack of a better word, a dumbass. But you live and learn, right?
Here's where it all started (Friday's horoscope.. I knew I should have stopped reading these things!) :
A small crisis is still a crisis, isn't it, Aries? You can expect one in your personal life today. Since you aren't the kind of person who lets issues go unresolved, you won't be able to put off dealing with your problems any longer. Are responsibilities shared equally with your partner? Are you each making an equal effort to maintain harmony? Asking the questions is the first step to answering them.
I just HAD to drag up ALL those issues. And instead of resolving anything, I just made a *@!?%#$ mess of them! If being complicated was a skill, I'd be bankin right now. I don't really have more to say without getting into great detail. Which I probably should do.. but in this case I think it might just make me feel worse. I'm gonna let my heart take a break from decision making and force my brain to handle things for a while. Brain, get your shit together!
Now I'm awake at 7 a.m. on a Saturday, watching (or listening to) Curious George, wondering what happened to the awesome cartoons from when I was a kid. Man, I wish I was a kid again.. I don't know where this is going anymore..
First, I'll start with an explanation of the title of this post:
A devil's advocate is someone who, given a certain argument, takes a position he or she does not necessarily agree with, just for the sake of argument. In taking such position, the individual taking on the devil's advocate role seeks to engage others in an argumentative discussion process. The purpose of such process is typically to test the quality of the original argument and identify weaknesses in its structure, and to use such information to either improve or abandon the original, opposing position. It can also refer (less commonly) to someone who takes a stance that is seen as unpopular or unconventional, but is actually another way of arguing a more conventional stance.
Now that you know, in case you didn't already know, what a devil's advocate is I can get to my point. I am playing devil's advocate.. with myself. How is that possible, you ask? Because I am an idiot.
(At this point, I should probably explain that this post originally started on Friday, got interrupted during work, and then my computer decided to be stupid and not let me finish it. So, it is now 6:58 a.m. on Saturday morning and I'm finally getting around to finishing it on my phone. Oh yeah, the stupid warning still applies.)
Lately, I've been in this weird "go with your gut" mood. If you feel something, just act on it, see what happens, right? No! Stupid, stupid, stupid. That doesn't apply in every situation. Somewhere, deep down, I KNEW that I was gonna regret my actions. Yet, I did it anyway. For what? Because I am apparently, for lack of a better word, a dumbass. But you live and learn, right?
Here's where it all started (Friday's horoscope.. I knew I should have stopped reading these things!) :
A small crisis is still a crisis, isn't it, Aries? You can expect one in your personal life today. Since you aren't the kind of person who lets issues go unresolved, you won't be able to put off dealing with your problems any longer. Are responsibilities shared equally with your partner? Are you each making an equal effort to maintain harmony? Asking the questions is the first step to answering them.
I just HAD to drag up ALL those issues. And instead of resolving anything, I just made a *@!?%#$ mess of them! If being complicated was a skill, I'd be bankin right now. I don't really have more to say without getting into great detail. Which I probably should do.. but in this case I think it might just make me feel worse. I'm gonna let my heart take a break from decision making and force my brain to handle things for a while. Brain, get your shit together!
Now I'm awake at 7 a.m. on a Saturday, watching (or listening to) Curious George, wondering what happened to the awesome cartoons from when I was a kid. Man, I wish I was a kid again.. I don't know where this is going anymore..
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Moving mountains
I had every intention of avoiding the world today. I just expected today to be terrible since something I've been looking forward to, and simultaneously dreading, was happening today. But I'm extremely happy. That feeling of peace, no matter how small at times, seems to keep me pushing through. Things are never as bad as they seem.
Even though I'm still sick I feel better than I have in months! Mostly because I'm catching myself being positive in the hardest situations. For example, I picked up my last check from my previous job and was headed to work when.. the low fuel light came on. I figured I could make it to work and decided to just keep driving (mostly because I was being lazy but also because, as anyone who knows me really well knows, I HATE PUMPING GAS!)
So, yeah, I ran out of gas. In the middle of nowhere. Usually, I'd get so frustrated and pissed off. Even though it was nobody's fault but mine, I would have been mad at the world. Instead, I called someone to help me out. Since it was gonna be a while until they could make it to where I was, I rolled the windows down, turned the music up, and decided to catch up on blogging while I had some free time. Luckily, it's a gorgeous day out :)
In other news.. that person I felt so stupid about letting back in? Yeah, they're back out. Nothing happened really.. I just needed to realize that sometimes there are people you just shouldn't have in your life. I have a feeling it's gonna come down to me ignoring them for a few days before they get the hint. But the past has proven that dealing directly with this person is pointless. Sometimes you just gotta do what ya gotta do. I feel good about this decision. If I let them stick around it's gonna be a whole lot of me waiting for them to change, no change at all, and disappointment for me. I think I'm good without that. Tonight is our weekly Jersey Shore get together and I'm so looking forward to it. Today is a good day :)
Even though I'm still sick I feel better than I have in months! Mostly because I'm catching myself being positive in the hardest situations. For example, I picked up my last check from my previous job and was headed to work when.. the low fuel light came on. I figured I could make it to work and decided to just keep driving (mostly because I was being lazy but also because, as anyone who knows me really well knows, I HATE PUMPING GAS!)
So, yeah, I ran out of gas. In the middle of nowhere. Usually, I'd get so frustrated and pissed off. Even though it was nobody's fault but mine, I would have been mad at the world. Instead, I called someone to help me out. Since it was gonna be a while until they could make it to where I was, I rolled the windows down, turned the music up, and decided to catch up on blogging while I had some free time. Luckily, it's a gorgeous day out :)
In other news.. that person I felt so stupid about letting back in? Yeah, they're back out. Nothing happened really.. I just needed to realize that sometimes there are people you just shouldn't have in your life. I have a feeling it's gonna come down to me ignoring them for a few days before they get the hint. But the past has proven that dealing directly with this person is pointless. Sometimes you just gotta do what ya gotta do. I feel good about this decision. If I let them stick around it's gonna be a whole lot of me waiting for them to change, no change at all, and disappointment for me. I think I'm good without that. Tonight is our weekly Jersey Shore get together and I'm so looking forward to it. Today is a good day :)
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
A little light in the darkness
Happy Wednesday! Otherwise known as WE'RE HALFWAY THROUGH THE WEEK AND GETTING CLOSE TO THE WEEKEND! day :)
I'm in a great mood. Somehow, in the midst of all the chaos, everything seems to be falling into place. It's hard to explain.. I'm just happy.
More later!
I'm in a great mood. Somehow, in the midst of all the chaos, everything seems to be falling into place. It's hard to explain.. I'm just happy.
More later!
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